RandomPokesThe Upward TrailSteve Dennie
According to humorist Dave Barry, "College is basically a bunch of rooms where you sit for roughly 1000 hours and try to memorize things....The idea is, you memorize these things, then write them down in little exam books, then forget them. If you fail to forget them, you become a professor and have to stay in college for the rest of your life."
I'm spending every Tuesday night this spring sitting in one such room at Ball State while a professor tells me stuff I don't particularly care to know, using very colorful language in a misguided attempt to impress me with his Man of the People-ness.
It's a research methods class, a mandatory affliction for all graduate students. I'll endure it like a man, just as, like a man going for a physical checkup, I put off taking this class for over a year.
We'll have two tests. Neither of which, I hope, will be as difficult as this Ultimate Essay Exam.
1. History. Describe the history of the wheel from its origin to the present day, concentrating on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Uganda, Polynesia, and Tibet.
2. Biology. Create life. Estimate the differences in human culture if this life-form had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its effect on the British Parliamentary System. Prove your thesis.
3. Sociology. Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.
4. Engineering. The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a box beside your desk. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever actions you feel to be appropriate.
5. Theology. Recite the book of Ezekiel, and construct three-point sermon outlines on chapter 1 appropriate for each of these audiences: Calvinistic, Wesleyan, Pentecostal, Atheistic, Mormon, and Oprah.
6. Political science. There is a red phone on the desk behind you. Start World War III. Report at length on its effects, if any, on Chicago mayoral elections.
7. Physics. Explain the universe. Give several examples.
8. English. Diagram each sentence in the Collected Works of Shakespeare.
9. Anatomy. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.
10. General knowledge. Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.
I loathe tests. Always have. My learning style (as I've learned, ironically, from personality tests) isn't compatible with traditional test-taking. People who get good grades in the traditional classroom are called "stringers," according to the book Thinking Better. They prefer a systematic, structured approach--learn all the relevant details, take a test, and move on.
I, on the other hand, am a "grouper." I look for general principles (rather than details), and draw relationships between different types of information. I like to think of stringers as smart, and groupers as intelligent. There's a difference.
Just as people learn in various ways, they also experience spiritual growth in various ways. William Hendricks discusses this concept in his superb book, Exit Interviews.
All my life, I've had pounded into me that the way to grow spiritually is to spend an hour a day studying the Bible and praying. Call it "devotions." I certainly don't want to downgrade that, and everyone should have a personal devotional life. But it won't be the best method of spiritual growth for everyone (me, for example). God created us as unique individuals, and he relates to us according to our uniquenesses.
Hendricks says churches typically emphasize one method of spiritual growth--the method which works best with the pastor. And that's okay. But we need to remember that spiritual growth can grow in many ways. One person may grow best through listening to sermons. Another may grow more through informal, small-group Bible study discussions. Or reading Christian literature. Or eating breakfast each week with a couple other guys in an accountability group. Or listening to Christian music and messages on the radio. Or getting deeply involved in ministering to other people's needs.
God uses lots of ways to spur growth in his people. After reading Hendricks' book, I wondered, What is most effective in helping me grow? I decided that in general, sermons and Sunday school classes tend to be informational for me; I'm not necessarily motivated to grow. A devotional life is important, but for me it's more of a steady foundation than a growth experience.
For me, the greatest motivation for growth comes through modeling--seeing a quality in someone else which is lacking in my own life. It might be something very tiny, like the way a person interacts with a stranger or responds to adversity. But if I observe a piece of Christlikeness, rather than just read or hear about it, I'm more likely to copy it. So, I need to be around people of faith and character. That's how growth tends to occur with me. It'll be different for you.
Certain things are necessary. You've got to be taking in God's Word--somehow. That's the primary way he speaks to us. And we need to be people or prayer, and people who minister to others. But these can be played out in many different ways, and rather than make people feel guilty for not following a particular regimen, we need to provide different opportunities for growth.
I'm sure glad God doesn't give essay exams.
Copyright 2005 Steve Dennie |
