Lanie is My Co-pilot, I Shall Not Want

You've heard plenty from and about me. But it's time you met the person who really counts my wife.

C. Ray Miller
Bishop, 1973-1993

November 1992

In this column, I've shared some of my experiences as a pastor and bishop, observations about the church, and thoughts on where we are headed. But I haven't told you about my wife. It's about time I did.

I can't imagine serving the church without Lanie. I'm the visible one, the person who speaks in public and has the fancy job title, but we're an inseparable team. When I retire next summer, she retires. And knowing how people on my district adore Lanie, I suspect that people will miss her regular visits a lot more than they'll miss mine.

When I became a bishop in 1973, my daughter Pam still had two years of high school left, so Lanie stayed home while I traveled by myself through Indiana, Ohio, Michigan, Ontario, and Pennsylvania. I didn't enjoy those thousands of lonely miles on the road, or sleeping in motel rooms and campground cabins by myself. It was difficult.

But since 1975, Lanie has traveled with me most of the time. This has been a tremendous blessing. Last year, during a period of l4 months, we traveled 51,000 miles. Lanie is my best friend, and I just enjoy being with her. Very few couples, I'm sure, spend as much time together as we do.

What do we do? Well, like best friends, we talk a lot. We reminisce, consider future plans, and discuss personal and church concerns. We listen to tapes of music and sermons. Sometimes we stop and shop to break up the trip. After 20 years traveling the same roads, we know where to find every Bill Knapp's and Bob Evans restaurant along the way.

Instead of taking long vacations, we enjoy scheduling two-day vacations around other meetings. For instance, we take a few days before and after Florida Annual Conference to visit Disneyworld and Epcott.

I rarely pack a suitcase, which is nice. I just load the suitcases in the trunk, knowing Lanie has thought of everything. To cut travel expenses, we often combine meetings. This sometimes means packing for different climates. For instance, in January when I do auditing, I might have meetings in Ohio, then in Pennsylvania, and then in Florida. Lanie is well-organized. She packs the heavy clothes in one suitcase, and the warm-weather clothes in another one. Every night when we stop, she tells me which suitcases to take inside.

Lanie attends almost every annual conference session in all six conferences. She would rather attend the business meetings than the classes and seminars which are sometimes held at the same time, because she enjoys knowing the problems, concerns, opportunities, and challenges facing the conference.

Lanie has a strong prayer ministry. She prays regularly for pastors and spouses by name, and for each conference. She often knows needs in individual homes and churches, because people share them with her.

Lanie critiques my sermons. She points out things I do which I may not be aware of--words I use too frequently, or habits such as putting my hands in my pockets. She doesn't get tired of hearing the same annual conference message six times. Knowing what is supposed to come next, I think she gets nervous when I change and say something different, maybe wondering if I missed something.

We do almost everything together. We always make decisions jointly, no matter what it involves. We read many of the same things, both books and magazines. We do the yard work together (she likes to use the riding mower, while I use the push mower, do the trimming, and pick up the grass).

Lanie is not only God's greatest gift to me--my wife and best friend--but also one of God's many wonderful, yet unsung, gifts to the UB church. She's been serving you behind-the-scenes (and without pay) for 40 years. Before I left office, I wanted to give you a glimpse of our life together, and to understand why this bishop desperately needs her.

From the November 1992 issue of the United Brethren magazine.