Joe and Max: A Tale of Two Pews

Ray A. Seilhamer
Bishop, 1993-2001

August 1995

Meet Joe. He's been married to Sylvia for ten years, and has two children, ages six years and three month. Joe and his wife haven't been to church since they left their parents' homes. Now, their oldest child is ready to start school, and Sylvia thinks it's time for the children to receive a Christian education. Joe doesn't want to go to church, but he gives in because Sylvia insists.

The first obstacle Joe faces is a lack of convenient parking. By the time he gets to the church, he is irritated because he had to walk a block. Once inside, they can't find the nursery, and the regulars aren't willing to break from their conversations to help them. Joe's getting upset.

Finally, they locate the sanctuary, only to sit shoulder-to-shoulder with a lot of strangers. Joe feel uncomfortable that close to strangers; he wants plenty of elbow room. As the service progresses, Joe feels embarrassed when he's asked to hold up his hand so everyone will know he's a visitor. He'd prefer that people not even know he was there.

Then, without warning, the whole congregation suddenly rises and begins to sing something that all good Christians are supposed to know--the Doxology. Joe doesn't know the Doxology. He grabs his bulletin and sees the page number, but by the time he gets there, the song is over. The sermon puts Joe to sleep, because it talks about things he can't apply to his daily life, and a lot of the lingo is unfamiliar to him.

When the service ends, Joe informs Sylvia that he doesn't intend to go through that torture again.

Now meet Max. He's sitting just two rows behind Joe and Sylvia--in the same pew he's been sitting in for nearly 40 years. Max has been a member for so long he can't remember what it's like to be uncommitted to Christ and his church.

When told about Joe's reaction to his visit to their church, Max said, "If he isn't any more committed than that, let him stay at home. I don't mind walking a block to church. Besides, he's probably not willing to help pay for our new sanctuary."

Many churches are filled with people like Max, and because of that, they are dying. Dying churches forget that many of their present members were once just like Joe. They were not committed, and they had little--if any--interest in attending church. Today's world is filled with people like Joe--good people with good families, but unchurched and uncommitted.

There is a world of difference between the value systems of Max and Joe.

Max grew up in church. Joe didn't.

Max believes people should be as far out of debt as possible. Joe freely uses credit cards, and thinks the more credit he has, the more affluent he is.

Max trusts institutions. Joe is skeptical.

Max has long-term plans and goals. Joe prefers instant gratification.

Max married for life. Joe married in the hope that it would last.

Max serves God out of duty, obligation, and commitment. Joe, once he finds Christ, serves out of compassion.

For growth to occur in many churches, Max must recognize the difference between his world and Joe's world. And he must be willing to let the church speak to people like Joe--to those on the outside--rather than just to insiders like himself.

Churches must address the needs of Joe's new world, instead of trying to preserve their old traditions. Every church has its Maxes. In some of them, Max clings to the ways things have always been, and considers it a spiritual compromise to change anything for the sake of outsiders. Those churches are dying.

But in other churches, Maxes open his arms to Joe, making it possible for him to hear the gospel in a way which speaks directly to him, and loving him enough for Christian growth to begin. Those churches are growing.