What Kind of Attitude is That?

Ray A. Seilhamer
Bishop, 1993-2001

November 1995

Dr. Victor Frankl, a courageous Jew, endured years of indignity and imprisonment at the hands of the Nazis during the Holocaust. His captors took away his home and family, his freedom, his possessions—even his watch and wedding ring. They shaved his head and stripped off his clothing. There he stood before the German high command under the glaring lights, interrogated and falsely accused. He was destitute, a helpless pawn. He had nothing.

Except for one thing. How he responded to his situation was up to him. Bitterness or forgiveness. Hatred or love. Give up, or go on. Endure, or be paralyzed by self-pity. He still had the power to choose his attitude. The Nazis couldn’t take that away.

You are in charge of your attitudes. And your attitude is more important than your aptitudes—your abilities. This is why many average people outperform talented people. The world is filled with gifted individuals whose poor attitudes keep them down.

Some behavioral psychologists say you don’t determine your attitudes. They say you are a product of circumstances. But psychological research reveals that we do choose the attitudes that shape our lives. Your attitudes have a powerful impact upon you, your family, and your friends. Your attitudes show in your face, voice, and body movement.

Attitudes are contagious. This is why it is so important to have a positive and healthy attitude. People with positive attitudes influence others.

I coached wrestling at Huntington College for eight years. Mark Canada, a student from the Chicago area, was the first NCCAA All-American that I coached. He came from a broken home, but he had a great attitude. He was the first wrestler on the mat for practice, and the last to head for the shower. He worked, he listened, he put out. When he lost—which was seldom—he never blamed the referee, but accepted the defeat with a good attitude. What an impact he had on the HC wrestling team!

Let’s compare some specific attitudes. Consider how these play out in your own life.

Respect vs. Disrespect

Do you respect people’s property? Their space? Their opinions? How do your words, your actions, your body language show either respect or disrespect?

Patience vs. Impatience

What is your attitude behind a slow driver? In a slow line at the bank? Your attitude shows up under adverse circumstances.

Honesty vs. Dishonesty

If you are dishonest, you are unable to trust others. We call this mental process "transference." If you play games in a dating or marriage relationship, it will be hard for you to trust someone else. Your mind goes like this: "I am dishonest and pretend to be honest. Therefore, you are probably dishonest when you appear to be honest."

Humility vs. Arrogance

Good athletes and students don’t brag about their abilities. Their performance speaks for them. Only the insecure and the marginal feel they must tell others how good they are. People who toot their own horns tend to be very small people.

Generosity vs. Stinginess

What is your reputation? Are you generous with your money? Your possessions? Your words of praise and encouragement? Your time? Your listening ear? Or is your attitude selfish—that your needs and concerns are the only ones that really matter?

Persistence vs. Quitting

Do you keep at it when things don’t go your way? Are you the type of person who can overcome obstacles? Who isn’t easily deterred by resistance? Or are you a quitter?

Charles Swindoll writes, "The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, a home.

"The remarkable thing is, we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one thing we have, and that is our attitude."

How is your attitude? Work on it every day—it will be your richest friend or your worst enemy. You can chose your attitude. May your life be filled with healthy choices.