We Christians Need to Rise Above Our Differences

Ray A. Seilhamer
Bishop, 1993-2001

December 1995

My parents had a simple philosophy when it comes to personal relationships. Tell the truth. Respect other people’s property. Don’t steal. Do your share of the work. Keep your nose out of other people’s business. Put things back where you got them. Share your things with others. Don’t talk when someone else is talking.

Say please when you want something. Say thank you when you get it.

If people did those things, it would be a lot easier to get along. But, of course, it’s not always that simple when it comes to relationships.

Look at Bosnia—there’s a place where people can’t figure out how to live together. Sierra Leone in West Africa, home of our oldest mission, is experiencing something similar in the form of a disastrous rebel war. But we don’t need to look beyond North America’s borders.

There are plenty of problems right here in Huntington. People have trouble living in community in college dorms, in nursing homes, in the workplace, on athletic teams, in the public school system, in city government. Churches have their own struggles. Tensions exist on boards and commissions, between pastors and laity, between laity and laity.

We’ve got to learn to live together as Christians.

A significant part of my time and energy is spent dealing with interpersonal and group conflicts in UB churches. Let me share a few observations about conflict and tension in the church.

Generational differences create tension.

The generations have different values. There are differences about how we value work, personal relationships, money, credit, political systems, family values, working parents, free time, insurance, family planning, and much more.
Your age affects your values, habits, and perspectives. Going through the Depression colored my grandfather’s decision-making regarding the future. That is understandable. Most of us have never lost everything or had to subsist on bread and potatoes. People who live in poverty view money differently than people who are well off.

Your age affects your views on life. Take the issue of death. A 20ish young person doesn’t think much about death and dying. But people entering the latter chapters of their lives think about it.

Cultural differences create tension.

The Bible speaks about the differences between the Greeks and the Romans. They held different views on the universe, women, religion, work, time, and language.

In Sierra Leone, time is only approximate. You can announce a service at 9:30, but it won’t begin until everybody gets there. Some cultures hold a circular view of time—if you miss something, don’t worry, because it will come around again. If you don’t get it done this year, there’s always next year. Then there are people like me who view time in a linear fashion. If you don’t seize the opportunity, it is gone forever.

Cultures have differences regarding dress, diet, family, time, status, respect, women. Keep in mind that you don’t need to go far to experience cultural differences. There is an urban mindset and a rural mindset. There is a Pennsylvania Dutch mindset and a southern California mindset. There is an educated mindset and an uneducated mindset.

Leadership styles create tension.

Some leaders are demanding and dictatorial. This style will not work with people who are thinkers and want to express their thoughts and feelings regarding issues. Educated people want a participatory style of leadership. The dictatorial profile works best with followers, not with leaders.

There are participatory style leaders. They empower people to think and express their best thoughts. This style is more democratic and uses influence to move a group in a certain direction. There is a commitment to listening, understanding, and arriving at consensus.

Leaders often generate conflict. People with strong egos and convictions can intensify conflict. Tension comes when leaders try to manipulate or control circumstances; when they use verbal skills, power, money, education, or experience to push their agenda at others’ expense.

Theological issues create tension in the church.

Evangelicals have convictions, and we claim to arrive at our theological convictions from the Scriptures. But we still have tension over interpreting Scripture, the role of the Holy Spirit, the meaning and mode of baptism, the role of women in ministry, forms of worship and music, which version of the Bible to use, positions on the End Times, and other issues.

There is too much tension in the church today. We must learn to live together in community. And the best way to do that is to consider what God says about how people should relate to each other. That’s what I’ll address next month, as we start a new year.