We are United Brethren,
Forever, So Let's Act Like It

Ray A. Seilhamer
Bishop, 1993-2001

January 1996

It’s tough getting a group of people with a range of personalities and backgrounds to get along smoothly, make decisions together, and push forward to advance their cause. That applies to schools, to businesses, to service clubs, to political groups. And, it applies to churches.

Last month, I wrote about four issues which create tension in churches—cultural differences, generational differences, theological differences, and conflict over leadership styles. Now—what does God say about how we are supposed to treat each other?

Six of the Ten Commandants deal with how we relate to other people.

• "Honor your father and mother." Honor involves granting respect and worth to each other.
• "Do not murder." God built an iron fence around human life and declared, "Life is sacred."
• "Do not commit adultery." Do not violate another person or take another person’s spouse.
• "Do not steal." Others have the right to possess.
• "Do not give a false testimony against your neighbor." Your neighbor has the right to an honest name.
• "Do not covet your neighbor’s house, wife, employee, or possessions." Coveting is an attempt to take advantage of another person by taking from them something or someone that you want.

In the New Testament God gives excellent instruction on how to live together. Here are some commands just from the book of Matthew.

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you (5:43-44). Give to the needs of others in an anonymous way (6:1-4). Show mercy (5:7, 18:21-35). Do not judge (7:1-2). Don’t be a hypocrite (7:5). Be peacemakers (5:9).

Paul told Timothy to treat older men as if they were his father and older women as his mother, younger men as brothers, younger women as sisters—all with absolute purity. He said to provide for the needs of your immediate family.

Speaking to the church at Ephesus, Paul says there mustn’t be any impurity, sexual immorality, or greet among them "because these are improper for God’s holy people." He adds that obscenity and coarse jokes are out-of-place. He says there must be no bitterness among them. No anger. No slander. No malice of any kind. No unwholesome talk, "but only what is helpful for building others up." And they’re to be kind, compassionate, and forgiving toward each other. Submit to each other out of reverence for Christ (5:21); don’t just seek to advance your own agenda. Serve each other as if you’re serving Christ (6:7).

James stresses controlling your tongue, and being slow to get angry.

Throughout the New Testament you’ll find instructions which, if followed, will help us get along in the church. They can be summed up something like this: live like a believer.

A community of Christians isn’t always what you would expect of Christians. Petty behavior is destructive. A pastor should not complain about his congregation, certainly never to other people, but also not to God; he has not been entrusted with a congregation so he can become its accuser before God and men. Sin and misunderstanding can burden the communal life—though sin doesn’t make a brother any less a brother. Pride and arrogance can destroy community.

Christians have unique personalities, and those can cause conflicts which hurt the spirit of community.

But there is an ideal to pursue. The Psalmist said, "Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell in unity" (Psalm 133:1). Paul challenged Christians to live in unity. He told the Ephesians, "Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."

Christians need each other. We need other Christians who will speak God’s Word to us. Who will rally around us when we become uncertain and discouraged. Who will give us models for godly living. Who will hold us accountable to obeying Christ.

We should look upon our fellow Christians as persons to whom, because of Jesus Christ, we are eternally united. After all, as our name states, we are United Brethren. Let us live like it.