What Does it Mean to Live Next Door to a Christian?

Ray A. Seilhamer
Bishop, 1993-2001

September 1998

Last fall, Ruth and I sold our home to Huntington College, and moved eight miles east to the Arlington Heights development, a little community of 55 homes just outside Roanoke, Ind.

For the past 14 years, I have lived a rather secluded and protected life. When I was president of Evangelical School of Theology, I lived on the campus and my neighbors were seminary students. Then, when I was elected bishop, we bought a house on the edge of the Huntington College campus, and my neighbors were all believers.

When we moved to Arlington Heights, Ruth and I were faced with this question: "What should it be like to live next door to a Christian?"

My observation, about myself and other believers, is that too many Christians don't know how to relate to nonbelievers. Many of you reading this column were converted during a time when the church taught that when you accept Christ, you should leave your old friends and make new friends with Christians. So you downplayed your ties to people in the world and established your primary relationships in the church.

Part of that teaching is very solid. But the down side is that after a few years, you end up with nothing but Christian friends. Long ago, some of you moved into a church social club in which you spend your Friday or Saturday evenings eating a great smorgasbord with other believers and complaining that the service isn't quite up to snuff.

Now, that is not true for all of you. Some of you work with nonbelievers on a consistent basis. But others of you are very much insulated. You spend your free time around Christians, and don't really know how to relate to nonbelievers. That is not good. We are called by God to be salt and leaven and light in the world of darkness. How can we do that effectively if we don't know how to relate to nonbelievers?

So then: What does it mean to live next door to a Christian? What kind of people are we to be to our neighbors?

In our development are people who regularly attend church, and people who don't. There are homes in which one spouse attends and the other doesn't. There are church casualties--persons who once attended, but no longer do.

Several chaplains who work in retirement villages have told me, "It's amazing how many people once went to church, but stopped going sometime during the last 20 years of their lives." Sadly, many people have been shocked, abused, or rejected by the church, and that's why they decided to just stay home on Sunday morning.

How can we build bridges to people, so we can reach the place in that relationship where, eventually, we can share Jesus Christ with them?

The speaker at Central Conference this summer was George Hunter, a specialist on the church reaching the unchurched. He told us that one of the understandings among nonbelievers is this: "Christians don't like us."

The church can be very political. Christians come across as angry, lashing out with political discourse on the issues of the day and against sin in our society, rather than beaming the love of Christ. People who are distant and out of the Kingdom won't turn toward Christ until you love them.

If you took a survey, you would find that unchurched people think Christians dislike them. I beg you, as individuals and families and congregations, to reassess the kind of verbal and nonverbal communication you give off.

Ruth and I ask ourselves, "How should we come across to our neighbors?" In response, we are finding a variety of ways to reach out with the love of Christ, and to be the type of neighbors people enjoy being around.

Every year, pastors turn in reports which indicate how many people accepted Christ as Savior during the year through their church. Many churches report no converts, and many more report only a few. We need to ask ourselves, "Why do we exist? What should we be doing as the church?"

I'm amazed at how many church boards of administration spend every other meeting arguing about whether the church service should start at 8:30 or 9:00 or 10:30, whether the new carpet should be blue or green or gold, or whether to let the youth play in this room or not. And you wonder, as you scratch your head, "Where are the lost that we need to reach?"

Well, look across the backyard fence. They are living next door to you. Get acquainted.

Some of you would do well if you cleared the church slate. Eliminate everything with the exception of a good, powerful morning worship service and teaching experience. Then give time to developing relationships with nonbelievers and introducing them to Jesus Christ.

Our church was born during a revival movement which sought to tell people about Christ so they could spend eternity in heaven, rather than in hell. That is our rich history, and that needs to become our passion in the present.